The first self development book I ever read was Stephan Covey's '7 Habits of Highly Effective People' and in that book he talks about a concept called the "Emotional Bank Account". The emotional bank account is just like a regular bank account but instead of being with a bank it is with another person. Deposits and withdrawals can be made in both accounts but for the emotional bank account it is based on your relationships. In order to maintain a healthy balance in your accounts you must make frequent and sizable deposits while limiting withdrawals or you will overdraft on your account. Below are some examples of deposits and withdrawals you can make to the emotional bank account.
Deposits
Keeping promises
Being kind and courtesy
Clarifying expectations
Loyalty to the absent
Acknowledgement
Sincere apologies
Open to feedback
Withdrawals
Breaking promises
Being unkind and discourteous
Violating expectations
Disloyalty to the absent
Pride, conceit, arrogance
Defensiveness
Placing Blame
The withdrawal that we are going to focus on today is disloyalty to the absent and it is the true killer of communities. Another name for this concept is gossip and rumor and they withdraw huge amounts from the emotional bank account. It doesn't withdraw from the person you might think, it is not the person you are talking about but the person you are gossiping with. When you gossip and spread rumors you are telling the person you are talking with that when you are not around I am talking about you as well.
To change this, when someone is not around and people are talking about them support the person that is not around (or don't engage in the conversation, not even smiling at a joke). An innocent conversation about the goofy faces while working out are still withdrawals.
Gossip and rumors are toxic to tribes, communities, and relationships. We strive to support others and help them on their journey to improve their health, fitness, and quality of life. Invest in your relationships, make frequent and sizable deposits to them.
Ready to invest in yourself and take the next step on your health and fitness journey? Book a 'No Sweat Intro'.
Have a question or comment about loyalty to the absent or how toxic gossip and rumors are? I would love to hear about it, let me know.
berek.bryan@equity.fitness
Cheers,
Berek
